One lie turns to another...
So I’m over explaining to the Chinese that I am in fact NOT PREGNANT! Instead of getting offended I decided to use it to my advantage. Lindsey and I were going to the final day of the International Gift show. That’s the day where you can do all the sweet talking and go home with lots and lots of free stuff. And in case you didn’t know…I love stuff! I’m a total hoarder, I will admit! My plan was to get anything and everything with a heart theme. And believe me that I did! When I go to the last day of the next show and finish off my hoarding collection of free heart stuff I’ll post a picture of my jewels.
Anyways, I think I softened a few hearts as they saw me walking the aisles in a pregnant sort of duck walking with an occasional groan as I rubbed my hand over my tummy. I mean we’re talking Oscar worthy performance here! By the end of the day I had lost Lindsey and was on my own carrying about 6 fully loaded bags. I was exhausted and was in no mood to walk my way to who knows where to find a taxi to take me home.
Well apparently a good Samaritan was feeling my pain. An organizer at the convention center noticed that I was pregnant and felt my pain as I struggled along with dragging my prized possessions. I told her I was trying to find a taxi, just little ‘ol me - all alone and 4 months along. ( I was grateful I was never asked the due date…cause my math skills aren’t as quick as my jokes!)
The kind lady insisted I follow her to a bus line that would quickly take me home. I was stoked – she brought me close to the front and told the transport organizer to keep a special eye on me. I’ll tell ya I can hardly wait to really be pregnant cause people are so nice and helpful! He soon moved me to the front of the line and wouldn’t let me carry any of my bags. I was loving life and figured I wasn’t even tricking them that badly because they were the blunt ones that just assumed I was prego. Okay so I might have exaggerated the roundness of my belly…but felt ok about my illusions. I just wanted to get home!
Now this is where the tangled web begins to get weaved, and my guilt begins to torment me. A kind gentlemen CD was at the front of the line and was very concerned of my well being. He was so kind that I was trying to sort of brush him off so I wouldn’t feel like such a jerk. He insisted upon taking all my bags and filling up an entire row of seats with them so I could keep an eye on them while traveling. And then he sat next to me and told me he was going to get off at my stop and carry them into my apartment for me. He was so incredibly nice that I didn’t get freaked out by his generosity or anything.
We talked for the entire 45 minute ride home. I spoke with him a lot about our starting of the clothing line “GarySamuelian” and come to find out he has more connections than we ever dreamed of. He was began to offer to put me in touch with the man that has taken many heard of companies from nothing to huge successes. He called and set up a meeting for me to meet with him the following day. And then…he began to ask me about my pregnancy…I started to feel uneasy.
My entire life all I’ve wanted to do is be a star and an example of a good member of the church for the world to follow. Think I’m obsessed with myself? Perhaps I am – but I don’t care cause it’s the truth. Me…Oprah…and her being brought to tears as I explain that taking the right and virtuous path makes for a better life. Her looking at my way, the Mormon way, of life as a sacrifice - while I tell her it’s actually an easier way of life. etc.etc. So with my dreams to be one of many future ‘Mormon poster gals’ I began wetting my pants with the web that was flowing out of my mouth. This is how the conversation went.
CD: “So you’re married”
Me, with my head down in embarrassment: “No”
CD: “So you’re living with him”
Me, still with my head down and my body temperature rising “No”
I didn’t know what to say next. I had just told him that I was a MORMON…and I was about to tell him the furthest thing from the truth…that I was a skanky slut!
Me: “Oopps – things didn’t work out. Oopps – made a mistake.”
I tried to move on from there ASAP. But I have no idea what he said for the next 10 minutes as I sat in shock. I started envisioning the future and how I was never going to be able to proudly tell the world that I was a virgin till marriage, and how I never fooled around with boys, etc. etc. I literally felt sick that my little joke was turning into a full blown LIE!!! JOKE GONE BAD…REALLY BAD! Not only did I not want the world to believe this lie – I didn’t want this kind man to think this.
He ends up paying for a taxi for us to go the rest of the way to my apartment and insists on carrying all of my HEAVY bags. I can hardly speak I’m feeling like such a loose loser and total liar. I had invited him inside to see some of the samples Gary and I have been working on to see what he thought. I knew my mom and Lindsey were going to be inside and was freaking out if my lie was exposed. So I walked in and as I was introducing CD while my back was turned towards him – I was motioning for no one to say anything at all. Thankfully my family knows me well enough to know I had probably conned my way into some sort of situation and to follow my directions. I was real worried with my mom though…she’s a little senile in that department!
When CD left I sprawled over my mom and spewed to her all of the guilt that was overwhelming my conscious. That night I prayed and prayed for an opportunity to tell him the truth and not ruin this amazing connection that I had found. I questioned if I should say I was a surrogate mother and I was too embarrassed to say that I was doing it because I needed to money so I lied to him (I saw that scenario on an episode of “Army Wives”) - but then that was just going to end up in another lie that lasted at least another 5 months. I thought about many many ways to save face and still end up not being in possession of a baby.
And then I decided I just needed to come completely clean. Even if he hated me. So in the morning when he picked Gary and I up, (after he asked if I ate enough breakfast to feed my baby too) I told Heavenly Father I was going to come clean if He gave me the opportunity and prompting.
We sat in our meeting about to meet Harry…the connection of all connections!...and I realized I had better say it NOW or I was about to be introduced to Harry as a young single pregnant gal etc. So I said, “CD there’s something I have to tell you.” Gary kicked me very hard under the table to shut me up cause I was about to ruin everything. Later he said he was “crapping his pants” - I turned to Gary and said, “I have to.” Then I proceeded in complete embarrassment to tell him I lied to him. I started out telling him I’m a bit of a joker…and sometimes those jokes turn on me.
Oh you should have seen his face when I said, “I’m not pregnant” – I think it was a bit of a worried shock look. After about 10 minutes of my groveling for his forgiveness I was relieved to see he found great humor in it all. I told him I was so concerned that I wasn’t representing myself as a good Mormon, because I try really hard to be a good Mormon. (I know I know…I’m kind of an obnoxious representative for the church – but all in good fun!) I made him give me a good solid hug to confirm his looking past it. Although he did say if there was anything else I needed to get off my chest I could go ahead and tell him.
It ended up being a great day and we are thrilled that we have found a company to begin our production with. We were invited upstairs with all the big wigs for a private lunch, and next week we’ll be guests at their company party. Not to mention these men are amazing. They give millions and millions to charities they have created for the less fortunate. CD was even telling me how he does a ton of stuff with that lady that has the “Harpo” company….UMMM – you mean Oprah Winfrey?? So needless to say our hard work is paying off and the blessings seem to be endless. Prayers are answered!!!
