Wow??? Gary you have more style then I thought. That yellow is totally Fall of '92. Way to bring it back!
Spa chairs where the magic happens
After he fixed to his more posh look (spice girls- bringing that back too? After all they are having a reunion)
Just the three of us meshing into their culture....at Outback?
Chic Reflection gary says...
Causeway...one of my PF's for sure!
After a full day of work and fittings etc. etc. we decided to take a trip back to China at like 6pm. I was going to go by myself to check out the spa our friend told us about. Gary was exhausted but I told him it would be nothing but pure bliss for him. So off we went. I need to tell you a little about this 'Sauna Carnival' that we went to. First of all we heard it was 5 Star! Umm...that would be what I call a miscommunication - because it was far from a 5! However, I let the ghetto run wild within me and felt right at home. We walked in, actually I skipped in - and we struck a pose as we told them all, "We're ready!" Keep in mind that no one there spoke a lick of English. And I'm assuming they don't play charades very often either because the language barrier was at an all time high! But it only made us laugh harder. So they took us each into separate locker areas. For me, I was brought into what I would describe as a bath house. A lady showed me to my locker and motioned for me to take off all my clothes. Somewhat surprised I asked (with motions included), "Right here?" and she nodded her head. And then in my shyest voice I said, "I'm embarrassed." So she held up the towel and I told her to no peeking!! Then I was told to go shower...thank heavens I was given flip flops to wear. I came out with my hair unwashed, and they sent me back in to do it right! I was busting up the whole time because umm...what the heck was going on? and where in the world was Gary.
Well - Gary was upstairs in the lounge area having a panic attack searching for me. He hadn't showered because he got freaked out when they told him to strip and put on the pajamas they give to you. He just started saying, "Where's my friend? Does anyone speak English? I want my friend!" Eventually a man that spoke English left his massage and helped him out and they sent for me. I told Gary to not be scared and that he needed to go shower to begin our evening of bliss! We were both dying the entire time. As we sat in our lounge area, each la-z-boy type chair was accompanied with it's own television...might I add they even had 2 English speaking channels! So first we ordered a foot massage and a hair massage. It was a little slice of heaven! Except when she'd start rubbing my face.
You see I had this great idea the other day. I heard that Retin-A is a great anti-aging treatment. But knowing that I have no health insurance (which kills my mother...but a gal in her hobby phase is forced to live dangerously!!!) it looked as if I was bound to keep my youthful glow all on my own for the next while. ...Hong Kong to the rescue - I found some of that med. super cheap. So I bought it (a generic kind - but I checked it all out and it's totally identical. So 'Debbie Downer' don't reply with all your cautions!) and started the process to looking my age ( I know it doesn't make much sense but I'm all into preventative action!). Now for anyone that knows anything about Retin-A...it freaking kills! My face is peeling (now I know not to put it under my eyes and nose)and is super sensitive.
After those massages we decided to go get a 90 minute body massage in one room together. Gary says he's never sharing a room with me again because I was either laughing, telling her softer (the word softer must sound like the phrase 'push as hard as you freaking can!'), or moaning cause she was hurting me. It really should be me not wanting to share a room with him again. After all, he's the one that thought it would be hysterical to pull down my pants as I was changing my top. The ladies thought it was a great show! Why did I have to change my top???
Well in case you didn't know I have to go to the bathroom like every 5 minutes (that really bites when China is full of standing/spread your legs urinals!) So I had to tell my lady to stop massaging for a sec. while I went to the 'toilet' ( and yes, I did have to play a little charades for her full comprehension!...Gary added in his interpretation as well.) I made my way down the hall and realized -as I was flushing the toilet and there was a slight pull on my top- that I had forgotten to tie the wrap around belt on my top -so therefore it was resting in the nasty toilet! I went back inside and said once again in my shy voice, "Your gonna be mad at me...I need a new top - this one has pottie on it now." Somehow I was blessed with the gift of tongues with that last phrase cause she understood what I meant right away. The ladies were hysterical, as were we while watching them be hysterical...in Chinese. So my lady went and got me a new top, meanwhile I drank some water and spit (never in my life has that happened!) it all over the glass wall due to a very inappropriate/hilarious comment by Gary. Gary then pantsed me, I yelped and pulled up my pants while trying to cover my chest. What a sight I tell you. And our China gals were loving every second of it. For the next hour they proceeded to try to convince me to meet their Hong Kong friend who likes well stacked women. She was comparing our tiggs in size, and pointing to the white towel and telling me my skin was whiter than that. Oh and did I mention that she was hurting me SOO bad that I finally asked her just to tickle my back?! And she kept trying to tickle my rear...granted they were pretty funny but I had to reprimand her a few times. I swear we didn't point to the exotic massage! We've decided we'll skip that treatment next time.
After that, Gary decided he'd test out the theory of blonds actually having more fun. With NO English translation (I'll admit we had fun teaching them some English) Gary pointed to a picture and said go to work. And work they did! After 5 doses of pure bleach Gary was as yellow as a bowl full of mustard. He was freaking and I was gaining increasing pleasure from the sense of revenge it was giving me. He was looking like an angry Asian villain that you see in the movies. They weren't about to put a color on top as they had mentioned to us at the beginning. They said just wait a month and then he could do that. Hello? Do they not know Gary is about to release his first collection and yellow does NOT go with it?!!!
Then Blondie and I did a little sauna, steam room, milk bath thing on our individual sides. After that we went back for one more foot rub and 'ear picking'. I'm proud to say that my hygiene (AS ALWAYS) was in perfect form and not a thing was found. Nor for Blondie (or should I be calling him Yellow-ey?). I'll have to say that was my favorite part. Sounds kind of gross I know - but that's where the true bliss is! We decided to finally go home after about 9 hours of VIP treatment under $200 USD for each. Now that is what I call learning how to live like a celebrity - or even royalty!!! Today Gary went to an Aveda salon and toned down the YELLOW for a little more of a gray/silver look. He's loving his new style. We later met up with his good friend Kenneth who lives here and who also sports the white locks. I wanted to look a little special for Kenny as well so I brought out my beauty with a home made beauty mark. We ate at Outback Steakhouse which we feel is our home away from home, and now are about to retire with new looks and fully tummy's!
