Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Ure Fat...that's what our mama says!



Well inspiration has finally hit. Lindsey came over and we decided to watch "The Biggest Loser" finale. Ahh - why not we thought get ourselves a little inspiration to drop a few. After all, we both just returned from a great week long vacation in Colorado...where we may have ate a little more than our fair share. Perhaps it could have gone unnoticed if my Mammie weren't around. That woman has some sort of secret power that enables her to know exactly when Lindsey and I are putting something other than celery into our mouths. Yeah...there wasn't a whole lot of celery eating in Colorado. That woman has created us to be total closet eaters.

I don't know how many times I've heard about how her waist was a 22 when she got married...so is my thigh...big freaking deal! For years she has called us "Helga and Olga" her "BIG" Hungarian daughters. I've told her she's going to make me go Anorexic (I know - not something to joke about...unless there is no way possible you could have an issue with it even if you tried, I mean I can't even skip one freaking meal for crying out loud!) and that she should call me "Anna" all day to stick with the theme. She then proudly cheers me on as I falter from my lack of eating all the while she's letting me know she'll be more than happy to visit me in the hospital. Oh thanks mama...little brat that I love!

And it ain't just my mama - my dad...totally seriously one day...mentioned that perhaps I should do what those guys do that have to get their mouths wired shut. Oh believe me...I'd be the one person to gain a few even on a pure liquid diet.

So all in all...as Lindsey and I sat, eating all the cookie dough from my tasty carton of ice cream, (ok that was just me - ) watching this inspiring finale of all these fatty's turning into skinny's...or littler fatty's. - we decided it was time. It is time to make mama proud. (Although all week in Colorado with my mom's disappointing glare as I taste tested all in sight - I told her I would go to med school or law school...her choice...just to make her proud of me. Cause that's all a girl could want is her mama to be proud of her - right? Her only curt reply was, "Stop stuffing your face and act like a lady, then I'll be proud." Uhhh...I'll start studying for the LSAT mom!

So with all the fat haters around us we gotta play the game. So "URE BIGGEST LOSER" is on!!! It's me...It's Lindsey...and it's an all out competition. And...No Summer Thacker...there will be no numbers publicly discussed for you to gossip about. However we will be giving you weekly compared updates and letting you know who is in the lead. So place your bets and give us your predictions. Ain't no more (949) CAT-LARD it's only going to be (949) BAT(tling)-LARD from now on!

p.s. But for the record...Lindsey will always be "the biggest looser " in my book!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

I Love My He-She

Today in honor of
MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY...APRIL FOOL'
S
my little partner in crime helped me pull off the best prank yet!
We went out to celebrate Aubrey's birthday with some friends and the little guy came with me as a precious little girl!
In case some of you single ladies were not aware...
PETER ORD is really good at making babies...oopps...
I meant good with babies!

Admit it...the little He/She is CUTE!!!

Fister, Cheese, and Me

The birthday attendees. Once again Peter Ord has to crash an all girls party. Geez...get a life...a manly life... would you Petey?!
Oh wait...is that Michael Cunningham I see there in the back?

It's tough being a He/She...exhausting in fact! But you know those nails still look good girl!


Today is for sure the best day of the year. It's the day when I get to pull whatever crap I want and am supposed to be able to have it all excusable. I'll admit, most years I still find myself having to apologize to those sensitive few that never seem to 'get me'..(or life for that matter!) Obviously my favorite thing to do is tell any boy that I have any contact with that I've fallen madly and deeply in love with them and see how much I can drag the saga on. Some...(Petey Ord) get freaked out the moment I lead into any of it and they ruin all the fun. Others...(too many to name!) feel like they have won the lottery and take the bait like they were anticipating it's arrival. Now those gents are my personal favorites!
Along with my usual fun at the expense of others on this great celebratory day, this year I was privileged to have an accomplice to bring an extra smile to my face. Lindsey and Micah are both out of town and the baby is all mine. As you might recall from previous posts...when the baby is mine...we do whatever the heck we want to do. And today we wanted to be a mom and daughter duo out hitting the town. To Aubrey's birthday celebration it was! Obviously we had to get the baby ready and paint his nails. We chose red cause it's my p.f. - and will one day probably be his too. He is pretty new at the whole pampering thing and he messed up the nail polish a few times. But now that I think of it, it's probably in his genes cause his mother still messes up her pedicure or manicure every single time she goes to the nail salon. But not to worry - the nail polish he accidentally rubbed on his face came off tonight when I bathed him!
I love my baby and will take him any day, any time, whether he's feeling a little fruity or real manly. And he was absolutely perfect the entire time as usual. Everyone at the restaurant was adoring my little well behaved smiling girl. I might not have a little girl of my very own yet...but I've got my He/She...and that'll do...that'll do!

p.s.: Thanks for the new wardrobe Kate!!!

Hot or NOT!!! (click here)

It's time we take a vote and see what the world thinks!!! For the truth...(even if it hurts) shall set you free!!!