Bullcrap!

We saw a few good hits while we psyched ourselves up to join in the fun

So pretend you see us in the middle of this crowd prancing around like we weren't scared of a thing...cause we were there!!

I’m all about checking items off of my “LIVE WHAT YOU LOVE LIST” – but at 5am this morning I was over running with the bulls.  After a night of cleaning up my mom’s barf (I swear I was in as much sympathetic pain as she was) I just wanted one moment to sleep without someone on top of me or hearing babies screaming/joyfully playing.
    But Micah was insistent that we were going so Lindsey, he, and I left for the hour-long ride to Pamplona to run from some bulls.  I of course brought my makeup bag because if there was one more picture that needed deleting from this trip I would cry.  But before I knew it we were parked (I swear like 20 miles away from the party…had Lindsey been driving we would have parked up close and personal no doubt…she’s got a gift.) and outta there.  I caught a reflection of myself and the only word that came to mind was, “FUGLY!” –  (natural beauty is something I know NOTHING about).  And then to make matters worse – somebody forgot to tell me that you were supposed to wear all white and the red scarf thingy.  Ohh I was raging!  I stuck out like a sore swollen thumb in my purple Free City sweatpants and American Apparel V-neck.  But at least I had tennis shoes on!  Lindsey was wearing flip-flops…SICK!!!
    Eventually we found where all the action was.  And can I just give the Spaniards a shoutout??  I don’t think I’ve ever seen more good-looking men in my life!  My staring was at an all time high!  It was a brunette lovers paradise!  However it was very confusing to find out where the real deal was because the entire city looked like the center of it all.  I have never seen so many drunken people passed out sleeping literally every place you looked and trash covering every inch of ground.  It was an incredible sight!  Everyone’s white outfits were purple wine stained on top and grodey mud and crap stained on the bottom.  We thought we might have missed the celebration.
    We got to the packed streets and soon found it impossible to get anywhere to watch the bulls run by.  We ended up going down an alley and shoved our way towards the gate.  I was looking through some gap between people that was probably the size of my fist.  I look down and see Lindsey crouching for a better view and wondered if she was aware of the unfamiliar rear end that was resting on her forehead!  I’d hear the people scream and assume the bulls and people running for their lives were in view – but I didn’t see a thing.  In hoping for better results I tried climbing up a gate – but in my efforts all I got were a bunch more NOT SO ACCIDENTAL boob grazes!  I mean imagine if I had looked cute??!!  I surely would have walked away pregnant.  This one guy thought he and I were freaking on the dance floor and my grossed out look did not persuade him to stop.  So while demanding in my most disgusted voice, “Stop it – you’re nasty and YUCK” I pushed him away with all of my strength.  On the 4th shove I finally used my knee to help me out a little.  With a smirk as if we’d just had a great flirtatious exchange - he finally backed away.  Up I climbed…and it was over!  I had not seen one stinking bull pass!!!  I was sooo bummed!!!
    The 3 of us reunited in the aftermath of the chase and walked in awe at our surroundings.  How was I going to be able to check ‘running with the bulls’ off my list when I never even saw one.  We had to find another way!  We made our way towards the arena but weren’t sure who was allowed in etc.  Obviously we hadn’t prepared ourselves as far as knowing what to do or where to go really.  But Lindsey and I are never ones to give up easily. 
    We saw a huge crowd of people rushing inside the arena so we joined them.  It seems that anyone can go in there – the place was packed.  Pretty much glued to sweaty strangers we watched individual bulls be let into the arena to charge at adrenaline junkies crowding the arena floor. “Toro! Toro!”  Is what they were yelling apparently.  I thought they were yelling, “Oh no, Oh no!” as the bull would charge towards a new victim.  They weren’t…just me.
    It was insane to watch.  Nobody that I saw got seriously injured – but I saw plenty of close calls.  The crowd would cheer and chant in unison when a crazy man would grab the tail of the bull – or purely by luck be able to dodge the predator!  Guys would get knocked out of the way and get up laughing wanting more.  The scary part was the bull would charge one way and then he’d do this amazing pivot thing and go a completely new direction before any victim knew what was coming.  It was a rush just watching it.  I think I saw 2 other girls out there on the arena floor…Lindsey and I decided to make it 4!
    We made our way to the outer part of the stage seating that encircled the inner arena and jumped down.  Then I moved some guys outta the way and lifted my leg over the guardrail. (I ain’t the most agile and flexible gal you ever met!)  Lindsey was right next to me doing the same thing.  I think we both wanted to be the first in the arena so we could impress the other.  The men standing on the outsides of the guardrail were looking at us like we were out of our minds.  I yelled “Help me over, I gotta get in there!”  They were like, “You’re going in there?  You’re crazy!”  I grinned from ear to ear and said, “Oh yeah…watch this!”
    Well this one time my talk may have been slightly bigger than my action.  But I was in there.  I probably didn’t go more than 15 feet towards the middle though.  However – do not be fooled…that was still very intense!  Especially when they’d let a fresh new bull in!  The animal would buck around doing anything far from guessable.  They’d rush the sides and then dart towards the middle.  When it was not too close to me I’d run out and do a little show off dance like I was braver than Wonder Woman.  My little group of spectators loved it. 
But one time when I was acting all tough off the sidewall ledge, I saw the bull coming straight my way.  I freaked out and tried to jump up on the ledge but it’s really hard to jump on it if your hand doesn’t have a place to hold onto the rail.  So I was grabbing at some man’s shirt and pulling myself upward yelling, “Ouch Ouch!”  When the bull gratefully chose a new direction of target the man started laughing at my screaming “ouch” when the bull didn’t even come close to touching me.  I said, “Oh yeah…well a lotta help you are!  You were about to climb up and over the rail -leaving me to die!  You’re supposed to save me.”  He laughed and offered his rolled up newspaper as a replacement of protection.  I told him he was more scared than a girl and jumped off the ledge prancing about to taunt the bull once again!
Lindsey and I stayed relatively close together (she claims she went closer to the bull than I) in the arena with wussy Micah up in the stands.  Who apparently had a great call from nature and never even saw (nor took a picture…but it’s ok cause of my fugliness) us in the arena.  Lindsey was fuming that he thought a trip to the men's room was more important than documenting our bravery.  He claims he didn't think we'd actually go in...ummm...does he not know us??? Of course we'd find a way in...DUH!!  We may not have proof...but Linds and I know we were there!

…Run with the Bulls…CHECK(-ish)!

PS: I was recapping it all to my mom and when I told her I kept getting felt up she said, “Man that sounds fun.  I haven’t been felt up in a long time!”  Love her.

All That Jazzzz

Man...it's just soo easy to get soo into it!
Feel free to call me if you wanna have a jam sess.

In case you didn't know I have a new hobby. I'm officially a Harmonica Playa'! (Not 'player' cause it's more ghetto than the typical - I really funk it up.) I stole my nephew's harmonica the other day and have taken many online lessons and from what the lessons say...I'm now a professional. Apparently once you've practiced a song 50 times you are then ready to preform it publicly. So I guess I'm ready to show you all - but I might play it a couple more times before I share my skills with the world. But be on alert...it's commin! My first piece is, "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands." I think I chose these lovely lyrical lines because the tune brings back fond memories. I use to sing it as, "She's got the whole world in her pants" as a tribute to Lindsey's 'Thunder Thigh' days.
I've got more to come. But unfortunately I won't be asked to do a solo in church any time soon...I guess Harmonica Playin' isn't approved in the Church Handbook - wonder if I can appeal that?!

p.s.: I am available for summer bonfires! Although I'm sure space is limited...(I'm pretty sure my skillz are going to be in high demand!)

Ure Fat...that's what our mama says!

Well inspiration has finally hit. Lindsey came over and we decided to watch "The Biggest Loser" finale. Ahh - why not we thought get ourselves a little inspiration to drop a few. After all, we both just returned from a great week long vacation in Colorado...where we may have ate a little more than our fair share. Perhaps it could have gone unnoticed if my Mammie weren't around. That woman has some sort of secret power that enables her to know exactly when Lindsey and I are putting something other than celery into our mouths. Yeah...there wasn't a whole lot of celery eating in Colorado. That woman has created us to be total closet eaters.

I don't know how many times I've heard about how her waist was a 22 when she got married...so is my thigh...big freaking deal! For years she has called us "Helga and Olga" her "BIG" Hungarian daughters. I've told her she's going to make me go Anorexic (I know - not something to joke about...unless there is no way possible you could have an issue with it even if you tried, I mean I can't even skip one freaking meal for crying out loud!) and that she should call me "Anna" all day to stick with the theme. She then proudly cheers me on as I falter from my lack of eating all the while she's letting me know she'll be more than happy to visit me in the hospital. Oh thanks mama...little brat that I love!

And it ain't just my mama - my dad...totally seriously one day...mentioned that perhaps I should do what those guys do that have to get their mouths wired shut. Oh believe me...I'd be the one person to gain a few even on a pure liquid diet.

So all in all...as Lindsey and I sat, eating all the cookie dough from my tasty carton of ice cream, (ok that was just me - ) watching this inspiring finale of all these fatty's turning into skinny's...or littler fatty's. - we decided it was time. It is time to make mama proud. (Although all week in Colorado with my mom's disappointing glare as I taste tested all in sight - I told her I would go to med school or law school...her choice...just to make her proud of me. Cause that's all a girl could want is her mama to be proud of her - right? Her only curt reply was, "Stop stuffing your face and act like a lady, then I'll be proud." Uhhh...I'll start studying for the LSAT mom!

So with all the fat haters around us we gotta play the game. So "URE BIGGEST LOSER" is on!!! It's me...It's Lindsey...and it's an all out competition. And...No Summer Thacker...there will be no numbers publicly discussed for you to gossip about. However we will be giving you weekly compared updates and letting you know who is in the lead. So place your bets and give us your predictions. Ain't no more (949) CAT-LARD it's only going to be (949) BAT(tling)-LARD from now on!

p.s. But for the record...Lindsey will always be "the biggest looser " in my book!

I Love My He-She

Today in honor of
MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY...APRIL FOOL'S
my little partner in crime helped me pull off the best prank yet!
We went out to celebrate Aubrey's birthday with some friends and the little guy came with me as a precious little girl!

In case some of you single ladies were not aware...
PETER ORD is really good at making babies...oopps...
I meant good with babies!

Admit it...the little He/She is CUTE!!!

Fister, Cheese, and Me

The birthday attendees. Once again Peter Ord has to crash an all girls party. Geez...get a life...a manly life... would you Petey?!
Oh wait...is that Michael Cunningham I see there in the back?

It's tough being a He/She...exhausting in fact! But you know those nails still look good girl!

Today is for sure the best day of the year. It's the day when I get to pull whatever crap I want and am supposed to be able to have it all excusable. I'll admit, most years I still find myself having to apologize to those sensitive few that never seem to 'get me'..(or life for that matter!) Obviously my favorite thing to do is tell any boy that I have any contact with that I've fallen madly and deeply in love with them and see how much I can drag the saga on. Some...(Petey Ord) get freaked out the moment I lead into any of it and they ruin all the fun. Others...(too many to name!) feel like they have won the lottery and take the bait like they were anticipating it's arrival. Now those gents are my personal favorites!
Along with my usual fun at the expense of others on this great celebratory day, this year I was privileged to have an accomplice to bring an extra smile to my face. Lindsey and Micah are both out of town and the baby is all mine. As you might recall from previous posts...when the baby is mine...we do whatever the heck we want to do. And today we wanted to be a mom and daughter duo out hitting the town. To Aubrey's birthday celebration it was! Obviously we had to get the baby ready and paint his nails. We chose red cause it's my p.f. - and will one day probably be his too. He is pretty new at the whole pampering thing and he messed up the nail polish a few times. But now that I think of it, it's probably in his genes cause his mother still messes up her pedicure or manicure every single time she goes to the nail salon. But not to worry - the nail polish he accidentally rubbed on his face came off tonight when I bathed him!
I love my baby and will take him any day, any time, whether he's feeling a little fruity or real manly. And he was absolutely perfect the entire time as usual. Everyone at the restaurant was adoring my little well behaved smiling girl. I might not have a little girl of my very own yet...but I've got my He/She...and that'll do...that'll do!

p.s.: Thanks for the new wardrobe Kate!!!

Hot or NOT!!! (click here)

It's time we take a vote and see what the world thinks!!! For the truth...(even if it hurts) shall set you free!!!

Oh No She Did-in't.....

Oh Yes...Yes She Di-id!!!

What might you ask am I holding up my hand in victory for? Well only for the completion of team, "Ride Red or Die" finishing their first CENTURY RIDE!!! Ohh really...not sure what exactly that is, are you? Well - let me blog all about it! BLOG ON...

Early in the am - 6am to be exact (I swore I'd never wake up that early again when I got home from my mission!) Team "Ride Red or Die" got all geared up and ready to go!

Baby supported me as we revved up with all our carbs ...via the Banana

All of us racers starting out together...but we didn't stay that way for long. (not even like 10 seconds!!!) Ohh - and later I found out that Johnny-boy Moffit did the ride too and initially thought himself pretty cool for doing it. That was until he heard Lindsey and I did it too and we didn't even train. He said that kinda took the ummph out of it for him. HA! How funny is that!

Pit stop #1 (mile 18? I think...and it was practically ALL uphill!) ...by this point I had already striped down to nastiness (hence my lovely shorts) and my back and shoulders were dying! (My neck...my back...my neck and my back!) We helped those volunteers volunteer in more ways than they had anticipated!

Pit stop #6...the last one at 91.5 miles. I was a mess...a tired, hot, wanting to vomit up all my peanut M&M's and water, mess! Lindsey was still eating the M&M's!

Never again in this Century...

So how in the world I volunteered to do this race is beyond me! Lindsey and I have some sort of innate desire to prove ourselves...to ourselves - time and time again. If we think of it, we assume we can do it. And we are all into planning the next adventure that we can share stories about. There really are very few exceptions to this rule.

One exception might be if it has anything to do with loosing weight. Uh-Oh. That's not our forte...to my mother's dismay. Also, apparetnly the Amazing Race is in that category of lacking success as well. Which... is way LAME because we did get ourselves to the very last cut, however our journey ended there. I guess they've already had "mormon sisters" - which I totally disagree -cause those girls they're referring to weren't even active and they have nothin' on the two of us! All I know is we really could have sky rocketed their ratings. Don't believe me?...then you should just watch our audition tape. Straight off the cuff and freaking hillarious (even if you don't know the two of us!) Ahh well...just waiting to see what else is in store for us instead cause I was just sure we were headed for a season of "Amazing Race."

Anyways - so the two of us are all about doing whatever sounds fun and exciting and that which would either impress our mom or totally embarass her. Well, Micah (Lindsey's husband) is all hardcore into everything physical etc etc. Now he loves it when Lindsey accompanies him on these endeavors. Lindsey loves it when I then accompany her. You see the two of us are pretty comparable as far as athletic ability is concerned. She sort of thinks she's better...like when she use to "coach" me in the hurdles...yeah...the one race I actually didn't hide from racing in, I fell...TWICE. So basically she sucks as much as I do.

Well having no training under my belt as far as road biking is concerned I told her I'd do this 100 mile ride with her. She told me people would think it was cool if I infact did it. That sold it for me! If I can increase my cool factor in any way...I'm sooo in!

I've had a pretty messed up back for the past few years. And the last month plus it's been acting up while we've moved out of the house we all grew up in for the last 18 years. (hence the lack of blogging updates...believe me there's not too much humor to write about concerning all that crap. Well I guess I could've written about my new title of "official hoarder" in the Ure family. Everyone's trash is my treasure! - But I think only Lindsey finds that entertaining, so I refrained.) So with the bad back -I was a little hesitant of the up and coming ride in Palm Springs.

But my mind was made up and Lindsey was counting on me as her official teamate. So I came prepared! I mixed up only a few (cause mostly her taste in music BITES! - she would have loved it if I had thrown a little Dr. Laura Schlessinger down to a sweet beat acting as her personal D.J.) of her fav. songs and a whole lotta mine. Let me tell you -that was the playlist of all playlists.

From Prince, Wham (my pf!), and Depeche Mode, all the way to Lil' Kim, Snoop, and a little "Heartbreaker" from Mariah (cause she's on fiah'). In addition to that, I had every sweet cover song you can think of to get me through the long day. If I were to choose the MVP of the playist it would definetely have been awarded to:
Ice Cube and DMX's remix of "We Be Clubbin' - Eye of the Tiger!"
The last big hill before the first pit stop was about to be the death of me....untill I heard that familiar beat. It was like Rocky Balboa was on one side of me chanting with one fist high in the air' "Tristen ...Tristen" - and Ice Cube was on the other side lyrisizing, "We Be Clubbin' (or in my case.. Ridin' ) ...and... You Can Do it put your rear into it!" A shot of pure adrenaline ran through me from head to toe and I conquered that mountain! The beauty spewing forth out of my ghetto blaster rigged onto the front of my bike got me through it all. It was genius...pure genius! And all those riding past me (and there were a lot - believe me. 10,000+ registered in the ride!) thought it was brilliant as well. Rocky helped me and Rocky helped them. You see that's what we do as fellow riders on the road - we look out for each other.

I was told that this century course was the easiest of them all and a totally flat course. Now I've realized those informants were speaking comparitively. There was nothing flat or easy about that course in the least bit! At mile 10 I was huffin' and puffin' just to stay alive. Not to mention that these huge packs of riders would swoosh past me and I'd be white knuckled holding on for dear life praying I didn't fall and get run over by them all. And then with traffic on the other side of me...whoa - it was all too much. Now generally fellow riders are pretty nice - but I was able to share the road with a few fiesty ones.

They'd try to holler their advice/orders to me as they coasted by, "I said on your right...I'm on your right! (oopps - my sense of direction was a little foggy at some points. Believe me this was not funny! - nobody takes me accidently cutting them off as cute or innocent!)" or "Don't just stop in the middle of the road!!! (Well where the crap do you want me to stop if I can't help it and can't peddle another second to get to the side?!) or my personal favorite was when I would hear the faint noise of a snooty giggle as they passed swiftly by me shaking their head. Honestly I didn't care really if they were all faster than me...except when the really big, big, BIG, ladies would leave me in their dust - well it was easier to feel a little dumb and lazy at that point.
Also all before the first pit stop I had to stop like 5 times. We were told it'd be freazing in the early morning - but I was feeling like I was in Mexico in the dead of summer within the first 10 minutes. So first I took off my tank top. Then I had to stop and take off my pants (hence the lovely showing of my legs). And then I had to stop and take off the shorts under my shorts...cause let me tell you it is not fun to ride with a seam smack dab in the middle of your shorts. That could dang well newter a young lady!

Lindsey and I would get so excited at the sight of an up and coming pit stop along the ride. To think they had cups and cups full of free peanut M&M's - yeah we loaded up. I had to get a few rub downs each time cause my back was beggin' for some mercy. I think people thought we were quite the sight - they even asked to take a few pictures of us. (I really hope I don't find a picture of us on FUGLY.COM -that would suck!)

At mile 85 I was ready to vomit up all my water and chocolate I had consumed. But on we pressed...and on we conquered! I gotta say I think it's pretty unbelievable we did it! Now I actually don't care if anyone else thinks it's cool...cause I freaking know it is! Just think - I was on a bike riding for pretty much 10 hours straight. (yep - speed was not my goal!) Now that is one gnarley... Oh Yes She Di-id!!!

You gotta watch YouTube

I'm trying to make it so you can see some of the videos on YouTube. So here's a link...we'll see if it works...
http://youtube.com/user/tristenure

American Chinese Celebrities

After our long day!
One of our many fans!!!

So we had some visitors…and what fun we had! Lindsey, Baby, Mammie, and even for a few days Micah came to HK. We were super busy during their stay but had a chance to go with them to China for some major bargaining one day and met up with them another time after we looked at some factories in China. The first day was a little exhausting for my poor mother because we looked at 5 million bags for 10 million hours and then walked away because they weren’t in the mood for our bargaining shenanigans…their loss I say!

Day 2 in Lo Wu, China was a little more exciting. Now I am the first to admit that I am obnoxious. And the even bigger problem is that with either Lindsey, Seth, Katie, Gary, or Britni egging me on…I’m like 10 times more irritating. But what can a girl do when they plead and beg. Mammie taught us not to have to be begged to entertain (She just might regret this these days…) It always ends up me looking the fool. No wonder I’m single~! Although I will have to say that even though I know how to get these guys giggling – Lindsey out funnies me times like a million. That girl and her dance moves…un-freaking-real! You gotta look at some of these videos I’m putting on YouTube. I don’t know how to edit them down on a PC so enjoy what you want. And wait till you see our Family Feud taping. First of all we should be called the double chin family…Apparently our theme was “double chin…URE in” - we could all use to drop a few. But you will DIE when you see Lindsey’s shotgun dance moves.

Anyways, back to China and as Twista predicts, “celebrity overnight” status. My senile mother chose to get lost like 15 different times that day- Starting off within 10 minutes of entering the mall. I’m frustrated thinking she’s being taken away and sold off and Lindsey is busy finding the gadget that we will have to describe as a definite P.F.! Lindsey had discovered our own personal voice amplifier. Of all people that do not need that – it’s gotta be us! But we were loving them. We felt like Janet Jackson on the Rhythm Nation music video – and we decided to do a bit of performing. Well…actually the made me do most of the performing. Ahh – what do I care…sure I’ll look demented and ridiculous for a good laugh from my family. So all of a sudden after I warmed up with a little bit of Mariah it was announced that I’d re-perform my audition for American Idol. That was show 1…

Show 2…3rd floor and a huge crowd gathering. I was SOOO out of breath at this point. And the stingy spectators wouldn’t even show their support with a penny or two. I’ve really gained a lot of respect for those hard working street performers! It’s rough out there. Lindsey jumped in with her rendition of a little Whitney…and the two sisters worked the crowd together. By the end of it Lindsey had totally and completely wet her pants and neither of us could finish our songs because we were panting so hard. Show 2 brought us a lot of success…we found Mammie on the floor below!

So to make her proud of her two sweethearts…Lindsey said I HAD to perform for yet a 3rd repeat show. Half of our previous crowd followed us and more were shoving to the front. I don’t have a video of this one, Lindsey does on her camera. It’s classic! Mostly because a store owner called the cops on us and I had to try and escape them. But as I tried to blend in the crowd, my fans wanted me to continue performing. Everyone had their cameras and video phones out documenting the crazy Americans. I eventually escaped the policemen following me. My mother was dying and so embarrassed!

Then the rest of the day we had people stop us and ask to take pictures, I even had a few date offers! Ohh celebrity status is what I was made for but it’s no easy task. I mean, I totally feel for Britni Spears. It’s hard to live a normal life with people watching every move. I noticed it was a little more difficult bargaining with the locals because they just assumed someone with my status would have more money than I was offering. Stardom is just a whole lot of give and take!

It was a blast with the family in China – I don’t think we ever stopped laughing. They are truly my bestest best friends. I’ll miss them when they’re gone. Gary and I will keep things alive I’m sure.

Rape Hill...and her other blows to my esteem!

So there have been a few people who in the past have found great enjoyment in the sisterly love displayed by my older sister Lindsey and I. And then there have been a few who just like to have us around for pure entertainment factors, as if we are a 3D version of the latest comedy flick. So here's the thing...I don't always think she's so funny. In fact in my bank of memories she resembles more of a never-ending horror flick!! Let's go back in history a bit...

Freshmen year of High School...1994...first day of school:
Lindsey being the ever popular Senior and I the little freshman sister of the ever popular Lindsey received a bit of advice upon my entering the roller coaster ride called High School. I believe it is so ingrained in my memory that I can actually recall word for word what she said to me.
"Tristen, I'm going to tell you something that I wish someone would have told me. You're not going to get by on your looks so you better have a dang good personality!"
Now...let that sink in for a minute and ask yourself how you would respond to that. I'll tell you how I responded - I obediently followed those orders (back in those days I was still discovering who I was...so I listened to her more than I should have!) and accepted the fact that I was never going to be the pretty girl...but rather I was going to be the funny ugly girl??! All I know, is that sucks if that title stuck with me. I get it that everyone needs that funny/fat friend in their crowd - but honestly you never want it to be YOU!!! But nevertheless my lovely big sister dubbed me with what would come to be known as my identity.

Sophomore year of College at BYU:
Now by this time I've really come into my own. I've even kissed a boy and discovered that some days I'm actually pretty cute and have "a dang good personality." Although there was a slight hesitation in that discovery when my very first 'BF' did tell me that I was better looking in pictures than in real life.
**(Well little does he know that the IDEA of kissing him was way better than actually locking lips with him! Let's just say I called my mom the next morning and told her I thought I must be a lesbian because I DID NOT enjoy kissing my BF - it was disgusting! She responded with a new dress and a card saying, "You gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince." - Oh SHIZ...you don't even want to know about the army of frogs/toads I've dealt with!)
Back then I literally probably knew every good looking boy in Provo and had like 4 other siblings to accompany me in the Ure Posse all around town. So I didn't wonder too much about who I was, and as long as I made my Mammie proud I didn't really care what others thought.
And then there was the night that changed it all.
So I had just finished a huge test at the BYU testing center and wanted Lindsey to pick me up. It was late at night and we all know that's when the crazy Mormon's come out in Provo. To get home I would have to walk down the infamous 'Rape Hill' and was too terrified to do so and just wanted my big sissy to pick me up and keep me safe. This too was a moment ingrained in my memory so here's the convo. verbatim.
"Lindsey, will you pretty please pick me up?"
"No - just walk home! I'm watching tv" (some things haven't changed)
"But Lindsey, it's so late and I would have to walk down 'Rape Hill' - please come get me!"
"You're not even RAPE WORTHY! Walk home!"
-CLICK-
And that phone conversation led me to really rethink some of my esteem that seemed to at times be overflowing. Good 'ol Linds watches out for me and will never let me get too full of myself.

Mission for the LDS church...21 years old:
Life was great on the mission. I don't think my esteem has ever been more high. Looking back at pictures I apparently based my esteem on everything BUT looks (it was too hard to eat healthy and only 1 helping per meal and at the same time share the good word. So I chose the more important and shouted the good news from the rooftops and ate my little heart out). But I always found it a little odd when I would run into the office elders or even the Mission President himself on mail delivery day. They seemed to always do a bit of a double take, shake their head, and walk away. It confused me untill I would see that once again Lindsey's influence had followed me all the way across the country. On my packages that my mom religiously sent me week after week Lindsey lived out her dream of being a "tagger" and would cross out my name, "Sister Ure" and replace it with, "Elder Ure...she's actually really a man!" or "Warning! Caution! Sister Ure is a man dressed like a girl!"
Ohh Lindsey Lindsey Lindsey...I just want the world to know that I'm glad you're still looking out for me. I think it's great the way you advise me to first lose 10 lbs. before going out with a potential 'prince'. Or how you try to talk me into dating boys that you wouldn't have given the time of day (...DownEast, is all I gotta say..."hold that thought"...). Let's keep giving the world a comedic show. You be a mean big sister to me and watch the hysteria of laughter rise as it always does.
Oh wait -I forgot that the world actually CAN finally see you in action. All they have to do is tune into our debut of Family Feud on Christmas day and they can see how hard you pinch me and how loud I scream cause you didn't think I was fast enough to get into our huddle. I just want you to know that even though I don't think you're funny...I'm glad that in your heart of hearts you find yourself hillarious...you just keep telling yourself that!

..."WHITE TRASH FAMILY WINS ON THE FEUD!"...

I can see it now...the URE family goes down in history for lacking class in everything we do. We try really hard to make our Mama proud - but just can't help bringing a little ghetto into it all.
Today was our taping day for Family Feud. And right off the bat we were set apart from all of the other families that were at the studio. Each individual family was in there nice color coordinated outfits and they were quietly waiting to be taken backstage...and then we showed up. Only Trilby and Megan were ready and dressed (those older kids were taught a lot better than us younger ones). As for the rest of us, we decided to change right there on the street. So with the baby's blanket shielding partial view - Lindsey, Brook, and I changed out entire wardrobe. I made sure to tell my teammates (after all I was the leader of our pack!...You know it!!!) that we didn't need a gay color theme to look cool - but that we were going for the more "eclectic" feel.
We were pumped and ready to make some money. At first in the morning every family runs through another sort of dress rehearsal audition. 2 of the 7 families there actually wouldn't end up being on the show. We were determined to be the favorites of the day. And come to find out later, the producer said that she had been in a bind and had told the casting director to bring her a family that was sure "to deliver"...we were chosen as that special selection. I'll admit, we put a guarantee on our ability to make some 'good t.v.' - and they were going to hold us to it.
We were obviously chosen as one of the first families to preform at the morning audition. It was necessary for us to show them how it's done! We went against a great family that I had been rousting back and forth with all morning. They even said I was their, "brother from another mother" after I showed them I could duplicate any of there dance moves, gang signs, hoots and hollers.
After all the families auditioned I was positive of our success and knew we'd be on the show. Not to mention that all the other families there had done their first audition like in January and we had done ours only 2-3 weeks ago! We were pretty excited about the quick call back we got. Soon enough time for the real taping came and we were again chosen as the first family to compete.
Let's just say a good time was had by all...they were drinking us up! We had a blast and mama even said we didn't embarrass her too much. Other than the fact that Lindsey was so incredibly bossy that she sometimes was taking the fun out of it for me. Like when we went to huddle and I was a little slower than her so she pinched me REALLY hard, and I naturally yelped out loud, and then she told me how ridiculous I was for yelling out loud! How about she's ridiculous to be such a competitive Nazi all the time! You pinch me....I'm going to scream.
I'll admit I sort of bombed on the fast money part - however it was nothing compared to my follies on my previous game show catastrophes! I kept thinking of Mormon responses to the questions and then I'd have to tell myself to not think like a Mormon but think like the typical Joe Schmo on the street. When asked what families should always do together I could think of nothing other than, "family home evening," or "read the scriptures" and so I ended passing on that one.
Thankfully Lindsey came through and we ended up taking home $20,000.00 to split between the 5 of us. We were very pumped. We anticipated winning the max of 5 shows, but after loosing the second game - we see that it really is a fun game of luck, not so much one of strategy. (Those are the ones I like - I hate strategy....HATE IT!)
We had a blast and can't wait to see ourselves on TV! Hopefully the 10 pounds the camera adds won't look more like 20. Although Mama made me change my initial shirt cause she said I looked pregnant. And then when I later asked her if I looked cute on camera she told me, "Yes you looked cute, but there was a lot of roundness about you - your face is really rounded out these days." Ahh well - at least I got a sweet spirit!....and 4k in my pocket!!!

G-Funk...the day you were born all my dreams came true!

Now let me tell you something...Gary Samuelian knows how to throw a fun Birth-DAY!!! After Briti and I spent our weekend in Santa Barbara we met up with the birthday boy Gary, Lindsey & baby, and Susi. We shoped till we dropped and the fun went on into the wee hours. Gary wanted to take his girls to L.A. and get us all fun treats in celebration of his birth!
Talk about fun! We all got the best Marc Jacobs carry bags, the cutest Helen F. necklace, the most yummy sweat pants ever, and we topped it off with a tasty meal at "The Ivy"
The fun never stops with that boy - Happy Birthday Baby! But the best present was yet to come as Susi and Gary were told the news of the little one growing inside Briti's belly. That was for sure the coolest part seeing their excitement and anticipation. Then we drove home for more partying. Ohh and did I mention that Lindsey...like usual took her drive home to the next level as she drove as passenger in the BMW with the top down. And I mean 'top down' in every sense of the phrase! That girl?!? I-yi-yi!
Then we came home to a fun cherry on top as we celebrated with a delicious Maggie Moo's cake from his Aunt and cousins that were in town. I'm pretty sure I know what he wished for...and I just want to say to Gary that don't you worry...all your dreams are about to come true!!!

American Idols?...or Rejects?

So, I mean you figure a girls gotta have some fun in her life right? You only live once... gotta stop and smell the roses... live like you'll die tomorrow...make a fool of yourself by auditioning for American Idol???
Well I did just that. I've been meaning to check this one off the list for quite some time. I know that most might think that music/singing is not my strong point. How sad that I would even know of that truth which should be hidden from me and only gossiped of behind my back. After all, I grew up with my mom telling me I had a beautiful voice and my singing was music to her ears. But somewhere along the way my singing career was demolished due to the reality I slowly came to accept. I figured it can't just be a coincidence that every time I sing in church I have at least 3 rows giggling and turning their heads, or that on my mission- as I sang in the choir - they asked me (and ONLY me) to please lip sync.
But my mom also taught me to not really care what other people think. So what do I care? - The truth is I would love to be on American Idol and I have envisioned myself belting out a certain song since season 1. For the past 2 years I almost tried out, but didn't quite make it there. Not this year!!!
With Gary Samuelian back in town you better believe that dreams are going to get realized. So Lindsey (and baby), Gary, Skylar, and I made our way to San Diego to become discovered. We showed up early Monday morning (6am to be exact!!) and got our wrist bands. Don't worry that the 5 billion other people that were there had been there since Thursday night. ( Are you kidding me? Thank heavens the world is full of suckers that follow the rules) The line was ridiculously long. So we stood to the side and I did an occasional warm up and followed Gary on some harmonies and then we made our way effortlessly to the front of the line.
We came prepared for a long day in the sun so we found the most comfortable seats (wheelchair seating of course) and got comfy. I took a little rest as the stadium sang their hearts out for all the pre-recorded stuff. Then people started going upto audition, and Gary and I went to warm up. Now by this time I had let it sink in that I'm basically doing this audition (against my mothers wishes) just to say I did it, not because I think I'm getting on. And it doens't help me with the serious factor when Gary is telling me to kick at this part and sit on the judges desk at that part. So I decided if all else fails to put on a good show for Gary and Linds.
Well let's just say that I surely did that! I sang with all the pizazz a broadway wannabe could muster and performed my heart out. I gave them a rendition of Chorus Lines' "T and A" they'll never forget! Lindsey said that from the bleachers all she could see were my arms and legs flailing and everyone looking my way once I started singing. And then once I finished (umm...don't worry that the judge cut me off before I was finished and I told him he was missing the best part!) everyone from all nearby rows gave me their enthusiastic applause.
I have to say it was a nice thing to experience rejection with Gary by my side. In my opinion those dang judges should have followed some peer pressure and put us past the second round! That crowd was loving us from 6am on. Ohh but don't you worry....we've always got next year baby!

The King on (or in) his throne!

Don't be mad at me...he just crawled on in and I happened to be there to snap a few photos. That little guy is sooo mischievous! (and plus it was totally bleached out - so stop contemplating if you want to call child protective services on me!)

Cougars don't cut corners...oopps!!

Are you kidding me? I hated running cross country in High School...what makes anyone think that I'm going to start liking it now?! Lindsey and her bright ideas! She picked me up early in the morning to go and run a 5k with her. Well, the good sport that I am I hardly even complained. In fact - Skylar and I decided to start right at the front of the start line to see what it felt like to be a winner. So we threw Lindsey the leash to the dog that we weren't even allowed to have there and off we started at the front of the pack! Holding hands we quickly moved to the side so we didn't get trampled and waited for Lindsey and Page (Ryan's friend) - we couldn't find them. So then we decided to wait a little longer because maybe Micah and the baby would show up for us to walk with. Umm...we never saw them either! So what did we do? We made our way to the finish line and waited there!
Now that's my idea of a 5k done well! This cougar has got to cut some corners...in that kind of heat...you better believe it!

Bringing 50's Back!!!

Be-Bop-A-Lula...yes we brought it back and we brought it back with class and style (except when Summer B.A.'d all of us in the middle of our watching "American Graffiti")! We all spent a fun night filled with old school festivities. Micah cooked up a gourmet feast on the B-B-Q while Briti ruled the Shake Shack. Everyone backed their cars up for a front row seat at our make shift drive-in. It was fun and now I'm too tired to write anymore so just look at the pictures.
Oh - and if your really wanting a good laugh you'll have to check out Katie Hoffman's blog! In all of 60 seconds with Cora Greiners roller skates on I managed to fall twice!!! And I'm talking the kind of fall where I literally questioned if I broke my big bootie!!! If it wasn't for my lovely and almost weekly routine of "orange tanning" that gives my skin an all over golden cover up glow - you'd be able to see one heck of a black and blue rear end. (Or at least I'd be able to see it...)