I feel like I should stay home more...maybe...

Aubs, Me, Katie Hatch
Bull Riding Babes

Brandon, Kieser, Aubs, Me, Poo-la, Summer
Hatch, Alice

Us prudish Mormons got X'ed!

This the creepy guy that payed our way...and who I gave Aub's number to!

Aubs went first to show us how it's done.

Umm...yeah so I thought I could just jump on - no prob....perhaps not!

Uh-oh...best watch out everyone!

Especially you Poo-la! She wanted to kill me when I would grab her anytime she was near.

Fisters

Sweaty Fisters

Talented Fister and lazy Fister

Alice, Me, Poo-la, and left out Kieser

"Besties"

Me, and Rick...in TJ...at the dentist

Oopps...the waves were a little big perhaps?

What a good sport Rick was!

Waiting for the new arrival

Yeah.... I was intrigued and went wherever the heck I wanted! What a miracle having a baby is! I can hardly wait!!

We were all in tears!

Navy and Auntie Bella

Navy Skye Denison!

This is feeling really weird not chillaxin' at my house all day long on the weekends. Is it possible that I really actually have taken my mothers advice to 'get a life.' That poor women goes to bed for a week if I'm PMS'ing and have a bad day and then tearfully tell her about it. So - in hopes of preserving my Mammie's sanity and my own pride - I pretty much just had a weekend where I was out doing something everyday. (Like I said....it's kinda of weird and new...so this weekend I'm sooo staying home!) It's probably cause I finally joined FaceBook. That thing kind of makes you be social I hear.

So first....last Friday night I went up to LA with some friends to a dueling piano bar. Sounds fun right??? - Yeah, I guess the anticipation of it was great. Within the first literal 10 seconds of being there I heard more crass and cussed up language then a bunch of self loathing middle schoolers! There we were...a bunch of Mormons with our mouths hanging open in disgust - all the while the entire place is filled with people no doubt making their memories of a lifetime. Well, I hustled my way up to the door and said as demurely as possible, "Sir...we came all the way up from Orange County and have been so excited to see this show. But...we had no idea it would be this dirty and we're a bunch of prudish Mormons - so do you think we could get our money back knowing we just walked in? I know - we're lame - we just didn't know." They all looked at me like I was crazy. I gotta say it was pretty classic as they "X"ed our stamped hands and sent us off with our reimbursements.

Well - not to worry we found ourselves other things to entertain. The bull riding was my highlight for sure. Not to mention I was the official champion and never got bucked off. I charmed the pants off some creepy guy (yeah...real claim to fame right??? - Like that's hard to do!!) and he bought bull ride tickets for all of us. I paid him back with Aubrey's phone number. In fact - everyone got free digits that night. Aub's is a good sport I'll have to say!

Saturday night there was a YSA ice skating thing in Anaheim. So off a few of us went. Other than the splits that Alice forced me into (note: I cannot do the splits!) while spinning me around - I hardly even fell. I did realize however - it is most definitely not the event I should ever try to be at to impress a boy. Graceful I was not!...demure I was far from! I couldn't help it - all of a sudden I'd hear myself and realize that not only was I sooo loud and falling the whole time, it's like I never shut my mouth! That'll drive a boy crazy...that'd drive me crazy!

For Sunday I told some of the girls it's time to liven Sacrament meeting up with a new theme each week. This first official week was one doused with RED. Of course my girl Poo-la came through...and a touch of red here and there also showed up. This week I've decided it's 'business casual' - Hey...if you don't have a boy to get cute for then get cute for the ladies right??

And then came Monday... the day my mother prayed the pepper spray would never leave my hands. (Yeah...got it for Christmas.) On good recommendation I went to a dentist in TJ! My tooth has been killing me lately and it was time to get it fixed. The cheapskate that I am - I was not looking forward to some pricey bill for a lame root canal. Well...guess what! My great Dr. in TJ said I didn't even need a root canal and gave me a $50 filling and sent me on my way in less than an hour! Now that's the way to go to the dentist! It was a little ghetto I'll admit- but I would happily recommend him to anyone. My friend Rick Price was nice enough to go with me and rescue me if anything were to happen. Unfortunately I wish I could have done the rescuing as he broke his board surfing and had his car quit on him on the way home. I was feelin' real bad!

Saving the best for last.... Tuesday the newest love of my life was born! Navy Skye Denison! Oh is she gorgeous! She looks just like her big brother and will no doubt be obsessed with me as well! I have a feeling she'll keep me home more and my social calendar will be filled with dates with the little one!

So there's my crazy and busy weekend. We'll see if that ever happens again! Cause frankly...I'm pooped!

Dr. Dr. - give me the news!

Lucky for me the only thing I might possibly have wrong with me can be fixed by the infamous Dr. Laura! Ohh...how ruthless she can be, and ohh...how right all at the same time. Growing up my mom always had the annoying voice of Dr. Laura on the radio whenever we were in the car. Seriously - it drove me nuts. She always cuts people off, belittles them, doesn't know the whole story before throwing advice at the caller, and is downright rude most of the time.

Rude...but apparently right I've come to find out! This lady might be the ultimate reason I eventually get myself married. You see - in the dating world I kind of am really good at screwing things up. First dates galore...second dates...far and few between. Somehow I have the ability to turn a boy off to the idea of liking me faster than I can scarf down a Baja bowl! (And when I get a baja bowl, bravo style, with blackened fish, and pinto beans - believe me that it's gone in NO time at all.)

The revelation came to me just recently. I mean I'm not stupid - I realize I'm single cause something might actually be wrong with me (at least that's what the bishop says...) but actually I've come to think it's more so what I may be doing that is so wrong.

So I have this friend of mine. We've been really good friends actually for a while now. It started off with him pretty much worshiping the ground I walked on, me telling him continually it's never going to work, him finally believing me, and then me throwing a tantrum cause he went on his merry way. Yeah - lame cycle right?? But perhaps a very important one to make me see the error of my ways. I mean - isn't the ultimate goal to end up with someone that worships the ground you walk on (with all the other important stuff too)? Perhaps not for you - but for me I love the idea! So after my many a tantrum I decided to whip open Dr. Laura's, "10 Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives." I was at least willing to admit that something I was or wasn't doing was pretty stupid and if I ever want to have this marriage thing happen I'd better learn the error of my ways.

Well after highlighting the entire book - I feel like a new woman. That's not to say I've mastered even one of her admonitions - but what hope has been restored. Boys and girls...the day shall indeed come when I will get married! Miracles have not ceased - (cause my mom thinks it'll take a miracle...and...oh...ok- I think it'll take one too)

So I do apologize for the lack of internet updates - but I've been busy. Revamping my way of life takes time guys! I mean I could bore you with all the mistakes I continue to make in the dating world, but I wouldn't want you to cry you were laughing at me so hard. Or...maybe that might be a fun idea...

A little 'white trash' can be HOT!

Just Jason, Pure Denim Poo-la, Bearded Ballerina Brad, Jackhammer Josh, Trashy Tristen, Divine (as in Jewishyly) Devin, and Parted-hair Peter

Ohh Yeah!!!  We got fur coats, short skirts, flannel to the max, nasty facial hair galore, trucker hats, and a denim shirt to make this Monster moment magical!

Mama paid me $20 bucks to stop this dirty habit...but the jerky chew brought it all right back!

Josh, Poola, Me, Aubs

Just a little bubble gum Mama...don't you worry your precious little heart!

But if lung cancer was 'in'....we would soo be in the popular crowd!

If snappin' into a "Slim Jim" ain't W.T. to the max - then I just don't know what is!

I discovered this to be ohh so true right before my mission. I was out in Minnesota on a nannying job for the summer. The neighbor girl would take me out on the town some nights. When we were filling up on a little ice cream at the dairy farm, this hot little tanner than tan blondie walked right in and peeked my interest.

Well much to my surprise he was at the local party the next night. Oh and was he flirty and fun! We all decided that we'd take the boat out to a little remote island and have a bonfire. This boy was so white trash... - he even kissed me while he had smoke from his cigarette in his mouth. Yes - I was disgusted, but oddly attracted all the same. We went for a walk and ended up rollin' around on the beach. Many a time I had to remind him that he wasn't allowed to even come close to puttin his hands anywhere but on my back! He'd laugh and say, "Wow - I've never made out with a Mormon before." Well - glad to be the first for you ehh?

The family I nannied for had known of this boy for years and could not believe I would let his lips touch mine. Honestly neither can I really - I mean this guy was d-u-m-b, the comments he would make were unbelievable! But this whole experience has truly led me to believe that yes indeed a little white trash can be oh so very very hot!

So last weekend a few of us put forth our best efforts to be nasty, white trash, and maybe a little bit hot (ok- so the fishnets totally took away any hot abilities I know!) "GraveDigger" groupies at the Anaheim Monster Jam. I didn't leave with any new numbers - but I can't imagine we didn't give 'em all something to think about!!

p.s. - My mother is appalled that I would post this to my blog.  Ahh well...what do I care - I ain't got no secrets...welcome to my life...the good, the bad, the very un-classy too!  xoxo!

HO! Ho! HO! (HEY - don't call me that!)

Christmas boating dance

Fister, me, and Poola danced out little hearts out!

On the dance floor doing what we do...(pose for pictures incessantly)



Mama went big on this nightie - $6!




But do you even know how amazing these nasty things are to get ready in?

My nephew Jake and I on Christmas Eve- it's as if I birthed this child! I'm obsessed with him.

Christmas has never come and gone so fast in my life. School was crazy busy- but having 2 weeks off was great! The whole month of December seemed filled with festivities and fun. I'll have to be honest - mama kind of took care of me real nice this year! She did say she sure hopes I'm married by next year cause she can't afford me anymore. (Oh - and like he'll be able to?) Little does she know she could never get rid of me. Plus - I hardly even asked her for anything at all - she just can't help buying things that scream my name. Way to go mama!

For the new year I've turned a new cheek...I'm trying to be out and social once again. (I even relented and joined Facebook! That's where most of my pics have been going-) It seriously is like pulling teeth to get me to go out - but once I go I usually have a great time. It's just as if I've become infested with some type of social anxiety - I just ain't the butterfly I use to be.

So we shall see if I have a thing or two more to post about these days. Plus Lindsey is about to have her baby - and you'll see plenty of pictures of little Navy. I just know she'll look like me!

Booo!! and Who????

The Witchie-poo shoes!

After our night of cackling on the town...we made the Montage our home.

Briti and Susi Samuelian (family witches...) (and kinda amazing looking witches right???!!)

Bad BFF Witchies

Shock value was a big part of the night

This is how a Witch holds her hand when she's ready to cast a spell. (or something...cause we kept doing this pose all night?)

There was an in awe fan or two that wanted a memento.

"Itsy-Bitsy Spider" gone wrong!

Where we dined on our Witches brew.

All the Witchie-Poo's young and old...
Our secrets of Witchdom will never be told!

Our pirate celebration for Brock's birthday

Royal Seastrand

A quick Vegas trip mid-October

On Halloween day at school. My mentor teacher Kristina Dorsey, and I.

Oct. 31st 2008
the night I created my BEST costume yet!!

Baby was terrified of the ghost!

Cutest mummy I've ever laid eyes on.

A Mummy Family

Oh Happy Halloweenie to all. What a fright fest...I tell ya! I was officially initiated into the "Witchie-Poo" sorority this year. It is quite the coveted spot. I should know, because I am actually the only one and true 'new' girl that actually DID her initiation. Oh yeah...Katie Nichol will claim she did too. But guess what hers was...? She had to find someone for me to kiss (the only single witch of the bunch). Umm..sounds more like a 2nd initiation for ME! I had my revenge though as I cast spells of gravity and menopause on those old witchie-poos all night!

"The Itsy Bitsy Spider" sung witchingly good was how I came to be accepted into the group. And it was performed at Sapphire in Laguna no less. Somehow I always end up in the position of being the funny ( I never know if they're laughing at or with??) obnoxious girl that everyone resorts to for a good time. (I don't know...do you think guys find that attractive?? Mama says they don't.) But we surely did have a great time. I'm already prepping for next year's adventure. And next year there will be some new recruits. Lindsey, my mom, Katie Hoffman, Debbie Lark, and maybe even Lindsey's new baby girl she'll have by then. Then the URE family could represent the oldest, youngest, and most single Witchies of them all. (Just teasing mom - I'm pretty sure those other gals are way older than you!)

Then for the actual night of fright - the 31st - I was perplexed as to what skanky outfit I could pull off for a night. Maybe an "adult" rendition of a French maid? No---how about a sexy nurse with thigh highs and all. Yeah...you see... somehow girls in general...even the '364' days a year modest dressers' (I'm talking sweet 'ol MoMo's) seem to think that this night is their free card to be as barely dressed as they can. I'm talking lingerie to the max, and then calling it a "costume." Well..if you know me at all by now - you know I happen to be on quite the opposite end when it comes to baring it all (well on purpose that is).

So I was thrilled to grab a lovely white sheet, cut a few holes in it, and call it a ghost! Best costume yet! I mean I've had some good ones...but this...genius!! It was awesome. Nobody knew who I was, so I danced how I wanted with who I wanted all night long. All I could hear the boys saying was, "I just hope this ghost is a girl - cause it just grabbed my rear!" I even had a few scantily clad ladies try to get me to unveil my face to them. I finally had to tell them, "Yo -I'm a girl...you might not want to keep flirting with me." They replied that I didn't sound like one and I told them I have a deep voice and if they needed proof I could help them out. They were a little embarrassed I think. It might be because I finally told them I was of their own kind after like 2 hours of them asking me to come hither as they batted their eyes and made sure their lingerie was revealing all they hoped it would. (I may have led them astray cause I kept staring at them all night. I have a staring problem I'll admit - and I was amazed at the courage they had to come to a Mormon party dressed like that. So looked I did... behind that white sheet of confidentiality!) It was pretty classic I'll admit.

It was a month of horrors through and through. Even pirate watching was the theme for my friend Brock's birthday. We had crazy day at school, a fair (I got dunked by every student there I think....I threatened them to watch their backs during recces next week! I was going to seek revenge.) Now it's onto a hopefully more mellow month of pure thankfulness.